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Post by milly on May 25, 2022 12:20:53 GMT -5
Don't know if this been done on the forum before but how about adding any you know. I shall kick off with this one.
A tough old sheep farmer gave some advice to his granddaughter .He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto her porridge every morning. The granddaughter followed this dictum religiously until her death at the venerable age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.
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Post by jackrides on May 25, 2022 14:59:09 GMT -5
I shall add gunpowder to my diet. I am, however, a little concerned about the effects of the saltpeter.
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Post by Zino on May 25, 2022 20:00:47 GMT -5
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
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Post by geoffh on Jun 5, 2022 8:27:29 GMT -5
Two strangers in a bar,one says that's a cool looking dog you have what does he do? he,s a blacksmith,kick him in the balls he will make a bolt for the door.
Geoff abridged version
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Post by Tanuki on Jun 6, 2022 1:01:27 GMT -5
What happens when you finger a gypsy?
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Post by woodini on Jun 6, 2022 15:34:56 GMT -5
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
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Post by Lucass2T on Jun 7, 2022 6:57:31 GMT -5
How do crazy women get through the forest?
They take the pshycho-path.
Whats the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple doesn't come on your face until you're 13.
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Post by scooterpimp on Jun 22, 2022 13:19:43 GMT -5
Two Blondes walk into a building …. You would think one of them would have seen it ?
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