Loved ones and accidents

[ThomasTPFL]

My wife has made it clear that she will not be comfortable with me riding again. It’s going to be months before I can even think of trying to ride again but I can’t agree to give it up.

Who has had wrecks involving totally stressing out loved ones and how did the conversations go?

[90GTVert]

I'm not married so no pressure there. I've only had concern from friends and family, but they all know I'm a rider and scoots are my life so it would probably be unhealthy for me not to do what I do. I'm sure many of us know that riding can be great mentally for various reasons. I had a friend going through some bad stuff a couple of years ago that used to be a bike guy, but sold his. I let him take one of mine out and he said it was the only time he's felt OK in months and the only thing that let him escape his thoughts for a few. If this is how two-wheelers are for you, and you want to continue riding, maybe start with explaining what riding is/does for you. Perhaps if loved ones understand that it's more than a way to get around it could help.


I did lose one of my best friends on a motorcycle when we were both around 20. A drunk driver turned in front of him, and my understanding is that my friend was also doing about 85 at the time. The sudden loss of a friend kept our tight knit group from wanting anything to do with motorcycles for years because it was hard to deal with and none of us wanted anything like it to ever happen again after getting our first harsh wake up to how quickly life can change. When you're 20... or at least when we were... we felt practically invincible.

A few years passed and a few of us started riding midbikes (a little bigger than pocketbikes) in parking lots and offroad. That ignited a passion for two-wheels and some of us ended up with scooters and bigger bikes on the road. Those not involved were concerned, but I think time healed some wounds enough to understand that life is full of risks but there's a lot of enjoyment to be missed if you worry about everything that could happen. I think this is common for many motorcyclists, new, experienced or after any sort of negative event. Motorcycles are dangerous. It's a fact and we all have to decide how much riding is worth to us and how it affects loved ones.

We lost another close friend to drunk driving not long after we started riding. He was in a truck, but even that was enough that I didn't see one of my good friends for something like 15 years. Literally just saw him a couple of months ago finally, when he came up and apologized because he said he pushed friends away not wanting to go through that again. I told him my deer story and I could tell that even that made him uncomfortable thinking that he could have lost another friend. Maybe that at least gives some insight into how strongly tragic events can affect those close to you.

Thankfully no one is dealing with the loss of you, but it's on their mind and I'm sure all of the associated care, financial responsibilities and general hassle of the entire process is not helping at all. IMO the best you can do is try to explain what it means to you and give it some time. Maybe once you feel better, start working on scoots again. See how you feel about it at that point. I can tell you first hand that the idea of the first ride after a major crash can be kinda scary. Heck, to this day, 4 years later, I don't like to ride at night because I know first hand that something can come out of nowhere and I still always feel a little tension in areas where there are trees or tall corn on roadsides for the same reason.

[aeroxbud]

My wife's Dad was killed when a drunk driver pulled out and ran into him on his motorcycle. So she is very aware of the danger.
I have always had bikes though. Always been passionate about them, so she knows how much I enjoy riding.
I don't ride big motorcycles anymore as I have Osteoporosis and a high chance of spine damage in a big impact. Small scooters are safer, but living in a city now, the risk is greater too.
I have at least one of two cars pull out on me or change lanes into me most weeks. Just have to be very observant, and can quite often anticipate what's going to happen.
I really should get a helmet camera the crazy driving I regularly see.

[captincvmn]

My wife wants me to ride no faster than 25mph and to wear several thick layers of bubble wrap.

It’s not feasible.

I have only had a few moments where I boobooed and it makes my heart race and question a few things.

Recently we had a coworker run off the road on his motor bike. Single vehicle accident. Cut his leg and was unconscious for almost 8 hours. He laid in a ditch on a cold evening and his body temp was in the low 80’s when they found him. He survived.

Life is dangerous. We balance what we do daily. By all means though do what YOU think is safe for you.

[jackrides]

Forward speed rarely is the killer. It's brain trauma or total crushing. Yeah, horrible, but knowing is knowledge to help take preventative actions. A first class full face helmet (No possible knock offs), and a Lot of leds and reflective gear. At the same time Alertness and believe that every cager will try to hit you. Always have an escape stratigy. Ride with a smaile knowing that you are under control.